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June 30th, 2010 | 
Author: 
Eduardo Gold is a Peruvian ‘inventor’ that won no less than 200.000 dollars for a local project he had invented from a Worldbank Finance project for young innovations. The project? Eduardo is going to paint the entire Andes mountaintops white.
If you didn’t fall out of your chair yet, let me help you somewhat. The idea is that ‘by painting the entire mountaintops white’ the glaciers and snow ‘will melt less quickly’ which as we all supposedly know they do really fast now because of Global warming.
Can you picture the bureaucrats at the Worldbank gloating over this brilliant idea? Lets give this guy a lot of money to save the Glaciers! Never mind that you actually cant paint under a thick layer of snow, its the idea that counts! Never mind that paint is highly toxic, never mind that you are destroying the entire ecosystem on these mountains, we have found the solution to the melting glaciers problem! Just paint it! He’s a genius and so are we at the World bank!
Those poor Peruvians will lose their tourist industry, their local ecosystems and their wonderful view because some idiot gets a lot of money form the World bank to pollute the environment. Why? Well maybe the glaciers will melt a day later. An applause please for these brilliant minds, after bio-diesel they found another way to fuck up our environment with incompetent, absurd and highly spurious and costly measures.
Please, please, please get some competent people in control. People that actually have some knowledge about science and the environment. People who can think for more than 3 seconds in a row. People who do not love to waste everyone’s money with totally idiotic ideas.
So I decided that, since these people love to waste money, I’d just as well send them a mail with my own brilliant proposition. If they ever reply, I’ll let you know. Here’s the mail I have send:
Dear Worldbank,
I was bouncing in and out of my chair when I read about your brilliant mountain-painting sponsor program to prevent the glaciers from melting away. For the meagre amount of 200.000 dollars Mr Gold will prevent the ice Glaciers on the Andes from melting too fast. Reading this a similar and even more brilliant idea to fight climate change arose in my mind. Please allow it into the innovation contest since its of the utmost importance to fight the devil of global warming.
My idea is simple, yet subtle. Let’s paint all the Worldbank money with Tipp-ex. If the money is white, it will reflect the beams of the sun. It will prevent that it will melt aways because of global warming. While you might believe that money is at no risk yet of melting away, we have received serious signals that money is indeed melting away because of the global warming. So my idea is: I will paint all your money with Tipp-ex, the only thing you need to do is first give it all to me and I will return it to you as melt-proof money.
Can I guarantee it will be melt-proof? Yes, I can, to paraphrase Obama. I can absolutely guarantee this money will never melt away, because no sane person would want to have it any more. Much like our Andes Mountains, I may add, as mountains covered with poisonous paint wont be mountains any animal or human would like to live on. But that doesnt matter, does it? What matters is us, our brilliant plans, in our eternal battle against the Global Warming Devil!
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Platinum aka Martijn Benders
www. loewak.nl
Posted in Environment, Health, Politics, Science | 
Tags: eduardo gold, glaciers, global warming, mountains, white paint, Worldbank
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