Posts Tagged ‘soccer’

Last monday I tried to tune into a television channel – something I dont do a lot nowadays but I wanted to catch the dutch world championship soccer game. I was totally flabbergasted when it turned out I had to watch a game of soccer with my head in a locust cloud. A locust cloud? Yes, that’s exactly what a few thousand ‘Vuvuzela’s', the african horn that got popular at soccer games, sounds like. If its this bad in front of my TV, what the hell will the soccer players have to hear on the field? No wonder about every game so far ends in 0-0.

I think noise pollution is one of the most awkward types of pollution. That’s because you cant really escape from noise. With visuals you cna just not pay attention to part of your screen, but with noise you can just completely turn the thing off to get rid of it.

Now, what sort of idiots would enjoy ruining a sports game with one of the most unmusical instruments ever invented? What evil african shaman has thought up this plan to sabotage the world cup and terrorize soccer enthusiasts world-wide with a stinging nest of sheer noise?

Well, this guy is one:

And this guy:

And here’s another bounty hunting construction worker, this time with a vuvuzela instead of a sword:

Isn’t it about time we introduce or rather mandate use of the Vuvuzela in parlements? Seems an instrument much more useful in politics than sports. I wouldnt mind sticking my head in a locust swarm when I’m watching something called a ‘political debate’. Either that, or force politicians to wear soundproof burka’s.
That’s another one of my ideas that unfortunately didnt get implemented worldwide yet. It really WOULD solve most of our problems!

To my english friends who somehow haven’t heard yet: I was banned from facebook. I dont have any idea why, one day i tried to log in and i was simply banned. I mailed facebook and they said ‘I violated the facebook rules’ and ‘they couldnt be specific about it’ and ‘it wasnt possible to appeal’. Oh really. Well, bye-the-bye then. I’m obviously not gonna waste my time with an institution that cares so less about my work they’d delete it without blinking their eyes. Moreover, I’d be very careful with organisations that think they can ban known writers ‘without giving reasons’ and ‘without chance of appeal’. It sounds like China or Iran, or even worse – I’m sre in those countries one still has some sort of possibility to appeal.

Anyway it was a good boost to get rid of that stupid addiction where you constantly wonder what others are doing and constantly have to spread information about yourself, thus weaving a network of consent that actually imprisons the soul. I have decided that I wont use social networks anymore unless I build one myself and control it – which is exactly what I am currently doing.

Today I wanted to watch the dutch soccer team play against denmark in the worldcup. I was zapping through turkish channels to see where it was on air, and to my surpise there was a game going on Holland-Danmark with already 3-0 for Holland on the scoreboard. I blinked my eyes and saw that it was actually some turkish channel letting a guy play his playstation game full screen and putting soccer commentators next to it, like it was the real thing. They probably couldnt get the broadcasting rights and thought this is a good way of getting some viewers anyway.

Elia was the star of the game, of course, and the wobbly ball some jerkoff thought would perform better. In Europa there’s 10 advisors and spindoctors for every journalist asking questions. There;s probably a whole crew of geniusses employed to design special balls for the world soccer championship. Knowing europe these will be people who know zilch about football but got that position because they have a wonderful resume filled with other wonderful positions they got in the same way: by having wonderful references. And in the end these are the guys that come with the wobbly ball, climate change, biodiesel and other unintelligable nonsense.